I’ve often wondered what it would be like if we still had tails. Would we cover them like we cover our genitals and butts, and like women cover their breasts? What if they were prehensile? What if they were useful for opening doors and and hanging from trees? Would we still cover them? Would they still be as useful if they were covered? And if uncovered would they be furry? Like the tops of our heads? If so, would we style the hair? Or could it be hairy like men’s legs? Or would there be a mound of hair at the base, like men’s penises? Would they be skin or more like a lip skin? Or as one friend proposed: like a rat tail?

I thought about this a lot when I was in high school, sitting in the back of the class. As the teacher droned on I imagined my fellow students with their tails all waving absent-mindedly, like cats.

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